#HeForShe

#HeForShe

For a while now I've wanted to post something on this. Ever since Emma Watson's speech at the United Nations, it has struck me how important this campaign is. Further to this, I am currently studying Weimar Germany at University, and one of the topics was the changing gender relations during this period. I never really understood the exact importance of studying this, as I believed it was just all about how women wanted real jobs and careers, until my lecturer pointed out that girls are not born loving the colour pink. It is drilled into them by society. Although many people watched/listened to what Emma had to say, I felt I needed to to say a piece on the matter too as it has really struck something with me and I wanted to express my views.

He For She is a campaign essentially giving feminism another name. The word feminism has been given numerous negative connotations which have been drilled into society; such as man hating and female supremacy. This is not what feminism is. Most of you out there are feminists and don't even realise it or do not want to admit it because of these negative connotations. Being a feminist means you believe men and women should have equal rights and equal opportunities. Women should receive the same pay as men and should be able to gain successful careers in fields where men have dominated for years. But it should also be acceptable for men to want to be 'stay at home husbands'. My dad was a house husband when I was very young, and he told me when he came to pick my siblings and I up from school, he was easily recognisable as the only Dad in the playground.  

He For She goes a little bit further though by making people aware of the discrimination which occurs against men as well.When people think of the term 'manly', they think of a guy who is possibly physically strong, but if you see a guy who is physically weak, would you call him any less of a man? He is of the male gender, so why should he be classed as less 'manly' than a guy who has big muscles? Furthermore, if a woman had big muscles, would you call her manly, even though she is evidently female? If your answer was yes, then your perspective of what it means to be a man needs to change.

Men should be able to form careers in Nursing, Social Work and as Receptionists without them being teased for doing a 'woman's job'. The stereotyping of  jobs needs to be torn away. It has been established woman can be just as great politicians as men, just as powerful lawyers and just as brilliant Doctors as men, so it needs to work both ways. Jobs should not be given to people based on such a little thing as gender; this criteria should be the last to be considered when hiring a person, with job performance being the ultimate headlining consideration.

It's time to stop these gender roles which have been drilled into society. The only gender role which should matter is the fact that nature has deemed women to bare children for nine months, and although this can mean the mother has an initial closer relationship with the child, does not mean the father cannot form just as close a bond or to be the one who looks after them whilst the woman went to work. 

Moreover, it should also be looked at what we 'teach' our children to like as soon as they're born. I mentioned earlier how my lecturer pointed out how girls only like pink because society has decided that for them. Why is it acceptable for little girls to play with dolls, but if a little boy wants to play with them, it somehow makes him 'girly'? Why are boys stereotyped to like dinosaurs, monsters and aliens whilst girls should like flowers, butterflies and rainbows? I myself, a 20 year old women, would much rather play with/draw/write about monsters and aliens than butterflies and ponies. I always questioned myself, why do only boys get to play with toy racing cars and motorbikes, and even sometimes lego? I can remember getting jealous of my brother whenever he got such presents for Christmas off relatives and my sister and I were given glittery and pink make up. I'm not saying I wasn't grateful for my gifts, but it has just hit me recently how the answer I gave myself 'because he's a boy and you're a girl' really isn't an answer at all. I should not have had this reasoning. No one should. So if you are reading this, and your young daughter wants an electric racing car for her birthday, but you don't want to get her one because she's a girl. Just consider how be far more grateful  she'll be for it than that dolls house you saw in the Argos catalogue. It's the same for boys, if they want a dolls house, but you've already picked out that expensive toy motorbike, think of what a waste of money it would be if he didn't enjoy it as much as you'd hoped.

So the big question which lies behind gender association, is why? Why should girls like pink and boys like blue? Why should children be force fed this? Would you stop your child liking something because of their gender? I'm not saying all people do this; I am just attempting to address the social norm, and question it.

Another campaign which I believe bares a similar significance is the Free The Nipple campaign. Many people will not give this campaign a look as they believe it has some sort of bad reputation, but I 100% agree with what they have to say. It's about the sexualizing of women's breasts. I am not saying women's breasts are not allowed to be attractive, but that is not what they are made for, and so why should they be covered up? I am also not saying women should go around topless, but they should be allowed to such as a man is, instead of being arrested for indecent exposure. It has been proven that bras are not actually needed to support women's breasts. They have little effect, so why should we wear them? A woman's breast contains the same material as men on the outside; nipple and breast tissue, the only difference is a woman is able to produce milk. This is another important point; an issue which recently has had a lot of backlash. The idea that a woman is unable to breastfeed in public.

Breastfeeding is just as natural as sneezing. If you were thrown out of a public place just because you you sneezed, how unfair would you find this? It's crazy how some people feel uncomfortable because a mother needs to feed her baby. Nature has designed her body to do this, so why should she opt for using formula in public when the best thing for her baby is to breastfeed them?

I am not trying to force this down everyone's throat. The fact you clicked on this link shows you must have had some interest and curiosity of the subject. This is something I have wanted to write about for a while, and although it may not be the best timing with my dissertation and multiple other assignments just around the corner, I feel great finally writing this down. I understand if people do not agree with what I have to say or wish to oppose my opinion. I respect that, but this is my point of view and my decision to share it with whoever I can. So I thank you for taking the time to read this.

<3

What to do in the shower...

How To Wash Your Hair

...In case you were wondering.

So over the past few years, I've been researching a lot about how I should be washing my hair. I'm not going to promise I'm an expert, but I have learnt a fair few things about what to do and what not to do for different hair types. My own hair is long, thick and naturally curly/frizzy (see below), which makes it really hard to control!

So here are some of my tips and tricks for thick, curly hair:

1. First of all, DO NOT WASH YOUR HAIR EVERY DAY. This really applies to all hair types, even those with naturally oily hair. If you wash your hair every day, you are stripping it of all it's natural oils and goodness. You are doing more damage than good! The natural oils in your hair help protect it from damage, but also gives you natural volume and curl. If you've noticed your hair has become flat, and you wash every day, try and hold out and do it every other day instead. Even if you think your hair is too greasy, try and add some dry shampoo or throw it up into a bun on that second day; after a couple of weeks you'll notice that you actually don't need to wash it as much and will become fuller as your hair has had time to absorb your natural oils. This will also help with hair growth.

I used to wash my hair every two-three days until I read that the singer Lorde, only washes her hair once every two weeks. I haven't gone as extreme as this, but I found it so easy to train my hair so I only need to wash it every 5-7 days, and most of the time it isn't even greasy on the day I wash it.

I promise this is the easiest, most healthy thing you can do for your hair. Not even 100 years ago, women were only washing their hair once a week. I'm not saying you have to do this, but just try and extra day without washing for a while and see what you think!

2. SHAMPOO - Stay away from the cheap stuff. If you have dry hair, like mine, it's hard to find a shampoo that actually works. So I always go for the branded stuff which says it's for dry/frizz-prone hair. What I'm using at the moment is TRESemme's silky smooth shampoo and conditioner, which leaves my hair feeling so soft. 

Cheaper shampoos will often have similar chemicals to household cleaning products, such as sulphates, so have a look at the label before you buy. These chemicals will be harsh on your hair and will dry it out more, actually having the opposite affects to the ones you want.

Another way to tell if the shampoo your using is not healthy for your hair is how much it lathers in the shower. If you find yourself fully encased in foam, your shampoo is not helping your hair (foam = chemicals). The less it lathers, the more it will do for your locks.

3. ANTI-DANDRUFF SHAMPOO - Most people who use anti-dandruff products are not actually using them effectively. I read about this one recently. Usually, with shampoos, you would rub into your hair and rinse it straight out, but for anti-dandruff shampoo, you're meant to take your time with it. You don't need to treat your whole hair with it, so take a dollop and massage it gently into your roots and scalp and then LEAVE IT IN FOR 5 MINUTES. This gives the shampoo time to treat your scalp effectively, or else you might find snow on your shoulders again the next day... So if you find that nothing works for your itchy scalp, this might be where your going wrong!

4. CONDITIONER - This is perhaps the most important stage of the washing hair process for people with dry, thick, curly hair! As I said above, I'm currently using TRESemme's silky smooth conditioner, (but I also like Herbal Essense's one for dry hair, but I've left it back at home, so I can't remember the name, sorry! It's smells like orange though, yum!) which literally leaves my hair silky smooth. BUT, before you even think about applying conditioner to you hair, there is something very important you need to do first! And that something is to squeeze the water out of your hair first. If you've just dipped you head under the shower and straight away applied conditioner, you've gone wrong my friend. Where is the conditioner meant to go? Because if your hair is dripping wet, the condition is just going to slide straight off. You need to give it a chance my friend. So try and squeeze as much water out of you hair as possible, just so you hair can effectively absorb all the moisturising oily goodness of your conditioner which is what is ultimately going to to give your hair that lovely soft feeling and silky glow. 

After you've left it in for about five minutes, if you're brave enough, wash it off with cold water. What this does it closes the cuticles in your scalp (prevents hair from falling out when you dry it) and leaves you hair with a nice shine. 

---Bit of science for you... when you feel cold, you notice the hair on you arms will stand on end; this is to prevent your body losing heat, and they go down when you're warm again. This is the same principle as the hair on your head - when you rinse with cold water, it makes your hair stand on end, preventing them from escaping.  

5. DRYING YOUR HAIR - With dry and frizzy hair, it's best not to towel dry your hair, as the fibres on towels will cause your hair to go frizzy, undoing all that you have done so far to prevent the frizz. So it would be better to use a micro-fibre one, like this pretty little thing below which I got at poundworld, and acts like a turban;

Or, if you don't want to use one of these, then you can always use a cotton t-shirt, which is soft on your hair.

Whilst it's still wet, you can add some smoothing serum (I've started using the Bleach London Split Fix Serum, which has changed my life) or I sometimes use a curling mousse to keep my curls in shape... Wella Shockwaves Curls and Waves 3

                                    

And I think that is everything! I have a funny feeling I have totally missed out a step... But I hope this helps some of you out there anyway. I know I had major trouble trying to manage my hair, so I hope I've been able to put everything I know and have researched and tested into an easy step by step for anyone else out there who has problems taming their hair.

Thank you x

<3